Regulation, Expression, and Communication: The Most Priceless Gifts You Can Give to Your Children as Parents (Part 2)
by Jumh Tantri
Counsellor / Parenting Coach / Career Coach
Regulation, Expression, and Communication: The Most Priceless Gifts You Can
Give to Your Children as Parents (Part 2)
Children don’t always have the words to express how they feel—but you can still help them be heard. Learn how play, art, and narrative therapy principles empower parents to nurture emotional regulation, communication, and trust at home with Counsellor & Parenting Coach Jumh Tantri
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Because each child’s development is unique, online comparisons often lead to unnecessary anxiety. A professional psychologist’s assessment provides clarity and direction.
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Play therapy helps children express emotions safely through play. Parents can apply it by observing and joining their child’s play without judgment or correction.
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Art gives children a nonverbal way to release and process emotions. It helps them translate inner feelings into colors and shapes, fostering calm and confidence.
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Narrative therapy helps children see themselves as capable and resilient by reframing negative self-talk into empowering personal stories.
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Create predictable routines, accept nonverbal communication (movement, drawing, gestures), and respond gently without constant correction.
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Be attuned. Your emotional presence, validation, and calm co-regulation form the foundation for your child’s lifelong sense of security and connection.
Helping Your Children Express Themselves Through Therapeutic Frameworks
Before we explore therapeutic approaches to nurture your child’s emotional world, it is important to begin with a gentle but crucial reminder: please do not self-diagnose your child using Google, ChatGPT, or social media content. While information is more accessible than ever, emotional and developmental concerns truly require a professional’s eyes and ears.
Children are incredibly complex beings. They grow, change, regress, leap forward, and do things that may seem puzzling, worrying, or even alarming at times. But observing a behavior pattern online and concluding that your child “has autism,” “is oppositional,” or “has ADHD” can create avoidable fear and misunderstanding — not just for you, but for your child as well.
If you notice persistent concerns in your child’s behavior, emotional responses, communication style, or social interactions, collaborate with a licensed psychologist or qualified mental health professional. Early understanding and support can be life-changing.
The goal is not to label your child — the goal is to understand them, support them, and help them flourish.
That said, there is much that parents can do daily to become therapeutic partners in their child’s growth. Psychological frameworks like play therapy, art therapy, and narrative therapy are not exclusive to clinic rooms. While they are professional modalities, parents can thoughtfully draw from these approaches to gently guide children — especially those who are non-verbal, shy, autistic, or have special needs — toward expressing themselves and feeling safe, seen, and understood.
Why These Approaches Matter
Children do not always have the vocabulary, cognitive maturity, or emotional clarity to explain what they feel. Even highly verbal children often express through behavior before words. Approaches like play, art, and narrative therapy give them a bridge — a safe way to communicate without pressure. When used intentionally at home, they can:
support emotional regulation
help children express needs safely and clearly
build trust and connection with parents
promote problem-solving and emotional resilience
boost confidence and self-identity
reduce behavioural outbursts by creating emotional outlets
Most importantly, these methods tell the child: “Your feelings matter. You matter. I am here with you while you discover your world.”
Play Therapy Principles at Home
“Play is the language of children.”
In child psychology, play is more than fun — it is communication, experimentation, and processing. For young children or those with limited speech, play is how they tell stories about their inner world.
How parents can apply play-based principles
| Therapeutic Focus | Practical Parent Action |
|---|---|
| Provide emotional space | Let your child lead play without correcting, directing, or rushing. |
| Reflect emotions | If a child throws a toy soldier and frowns, you might say: “It looks like he’s frustrated. Maybe he needs space.” |
| Use toys as emotional characters | Ask gentle prompts like: “How does the teddy feel?” “What does the train need?” |
| Regulate together | Introduce calm breathing or soft background music during play. |
| Be present | Put the phone down. Create real eye contact, warmth, and presence. |
Play therapy at home is not about teaching — it is about joining, witnessing, and building emotional safety. With children who struggle to speak or regulate emotions, play becomes a shared language, a place where parents can see the world through their child’s eyes.
Art Therapy Principles at Home
“When words are too small, colors speak.”
Art allows children to externalize emotions that feel overwhelming or confusing. It helps them process sensations, memories, or anxieties without needing perfect vocabulary.
Simple art-therapy inspired activities you can do
Color feelings: “What color is anger today? What color is calm?”
Draw a “feeling monster” and describe what helps calm it
Scribble-then-shape: let the child scribble freely, then turn it into an animal, hero, or object
Clay or playdough: shape how your day felt
Mood journals for older children: colors, stickers, and doodles, not essays
Important reminders:
✔ Praise effort, not beauty: “I love how you tried so many shapes.”
✔ Let emotions exist: “This looks angry. That’s okay. Angry feelings deserve space too.”
✔ Avoid interpreting — let the child lead meaning
Art at home is not about creating masterpieces; it is about creating emotional containers where children learn that feelings are safe to express, process, and release.
Narrative Therapy Principles at Home
“Children make meaning through stories.”
Narrative therapy helps children re-author their identity, shifting from “I am bad” to “I felt frustrated and made a mistake, but I can learn.”
Young minds often internalize labels. Narrative work allows parents to reshape self-talk and identity.
Narrative-guiding parent language
| Instead of this… | Try this… |
|---|---|
| “You are naughty.” | “You were having a hard feeling and didn’t know how to say it.” |
| “Stop crying.” | “Tears are showing me you need help. I’m here.” |
| “What’s wrong with you?” | “Something feels difficult. Let’s figure it out together.” |
Story-based techniques
Turn challenges into characters
“It sounds like the Worry Dragon visited today. What helps him calm down?”
Externalize difficult emotions
“Anger came to visit — how can we help it leave gently?”
Rewrite moments
“What would your hero self do next time?”
Narrative therapy builds identity strength, resilience, and empowerment — especially for neurodivergent children who often receive negative messages about being “too much” or “too different.”
For Children With Special Needs
Children with autism, ADHD, speech delays, developmental challenges, or sensory differences often communicate best when:
pressure to talk is removed
emotional expression is welcomed in many forms (movement, sound, drawing, gestures)
parents slow down, observe, and respond instead of instructing or correcting continuously
routines and predictable communication patterns are built
regulation tools (sensory play, grounding, breathing) are modeled, not demanded
Final Thoughts: Healing Begins With Connection
Helping a child express themselves is not about perfect technique. It is about presence, patience, and attunement.
Parents do not need to become therapists. But parents do become healers when they:
listen without judgment
validate feelings without fear
create playful, expressive environments
co-regulate instead of controlling
help children put emotions into stories, colors, or play
The greatest therapeutic gift you can give your child is attuned emotional connection. The second greatest is the willingness to seek professional support when needed.
Your child does not need you to fix every feeling — they need you to walk beside them while they learn to understand themselves. The unique and special bond only between you and them.
And when in doubt, don’t diagnose — collaborate. Reach out, ask for help, and work with professionals who can guide your child’s growth alongside you.
✔Your presence is the therapy.
✔Your attunement is the language.
✔Your love is the foundation for everything they will become.
Book a counseling session with me at The Counselling Place Singapore to collaborate with me to explore the possibilities of creating a special bonding and learning journey with your children. It is not an easy feat like ABC task, but it pushes you to first heal and take care of your inner child first before you can attend to another child’s inner child.