Parent’s Guide to Supporting a Teen Towards Health Seeking
Counsellor / Parenting Coach / Career Coach
Parent’s Guide to Supporting a Teen Towards Health Seeking
Is your teen refusing therapy, and you’re not sure what to do next? You're not alone. Discover why teens resist counselling or mental health support and how you, as a parent, can gently guide them toward help—without conflict or pressure. Learn powerful strategies to foster trust, open communication, and support your teen’s emotional well-being with Counsellor & Parenting Coach, Paula Brunning
As a parent, watching your teenager struggle with mental health challenges can be one of the most heartbreaking experiences. The frustration of wanting to help, only to be met with silence, resistance, or outright refusal when it comes to seeking counselling or therapy, can leave you feeling powerless and anxious. When your teen shuts down at the mere mention of counselling or therapy, it can evoke feelings of hopelessness and disconnection, making the path to support seem ever more challenging.
You are far from alone in this struggle; many parents find themselves wrestling with similar emotions as they support their teen in navigating their mental health. Unpacking your teen’s reluctance to seek help can lead to a better understanding of how to encourage them toward health-seeking behavior.
Understanding Resistance: Why Teens Say No to Counselling or Therapy
Teens resist therapy for various reasons, which can often be categorized into a few main areas:
Denial:
Many teens express the sentiment, “I don’t need help”. They may not recognize the seriousness of their issues or might be in a stage of development where they feel invulnerable.
Fear:
The fear of what counselling or therapy entails—concerns about vulnerability, judgment, or simply the worry that it might make things worse—can provoke an instinctive shutdown.
Stigma:
Unfortunately, societal stigmas persist, causing some teens to believe that only “crazy” people go to counselling or therapy, which can alienate them from seeking the help they desperately need.
Control:
Teens are at a stage where autonomy is vital; feeling compelled to talk to a counsellor or psychotherapist can trigger feelings of rebellion or loss of control.
Bad Experiences:
Some teens may have had previous encounters that left a sour taste in their mouths, reinforcing the belief that counselling or therapy is unnecessary or unhelpful.
The Emotional Toll on Parents
Understanding your teen’s resistance is only half the battle. Parents often face their own internal struggles, which can include:
Feeling like failures:
It’s easy to internalize your teen’s struggles, leading to guilt and self-blame.
Anxiety about worsening conditions:
The fear that your teen’s mental health will decline without professional help can provoke feelings of urgency and panic.
Walking on eggshells:
Many parents find themselves tiptoeing around the topic of counselling or therapy to avoid igniting conflict, which can strain the parent-teen relationship.
Feeling powerless:
The desire to help coupled with the inability to make change can lead to feelings of helplessness or frustration.
Strategies to Encourage a Teen Towards Health-Seeking Options
Instead of pushing the idea of counselling or therapy, consider these constructive and empathetic strategies to gently encourage your teen toward health-seeking behavior.
Validate Their Feelings:
Begin by acknowledging their emotions. You might say “I see you’re struggling, and I want to understand how you feel.” Allow space for them to express their uncertainties without judgment and assure them that it’s okay to feel unsure about options, including counselling or therapy.
Normalize Therapy:
Help your teen see therapy as an essential component of self-care rather than something stigmatized. You might say, “Just like we go to the doctor for physical sickness, our minds need care too.”
Involve a Trusted Person:
Sometimes, an outsized influence can come from outside the home. If your teen has a coach, teacher, or family member they respect, consider involving that person in discussions about counselling or therapy.
Lead by Example:
Open up about your experiences with counselling or therapy or mental health care, and be willing to walk the talk if this is new to you by offering, “Would you like me to go first and share my experience?”. Sharing personal stories can humanize the process, such as, “I’ve spoken to a counsellor or psychotherapist, and it really helped me through a tough time.”
Explore Their Concerns:
Start a conversation to understand their reservations. Questions like, “What worries you about counselling or therapy?” can spark meaningful dialogue about their fears and hesitations.
Focus on the Benefits:
Instead of framing therapy as a necessity, discuss its potential positive outcomes. You might say, “How would it feel to be less overwhelmed?” or “Counselling or Therapy could help you sleep better and feel more at ease.”
Understand Options and Offer Choices:
Teen resistance often stems from feeling forced. To counter this, give them options. Let them know what possible support is available by reading and researching together. Become informed about local clinics and different types of therapy (face-to-face, online, group therapy, etc.) and what to expect in a session. When ready to make a decision, suggest a trial period, such as, “Why don’t we try three sessions and see how it goes?” This approach provides a sense of agency.
Respect Their Pace:
If your teen remains resistant, try to keep the conversation open rather than confrontational. By planting seeds of thought without pressure, you create an environment where they feel safe to explore therapy in the future.
Parents Coaching Can Support You In Helping Your Teen Take the First Step
Teen mental health is important, and if your teen is struggling, be willing to address this in conversation and promote health seeking options including counseling. Your teen’s resistance to seeking counselling or therapy does not mean they are unreachable or unhelpable. It signifies a need for patience, empathy, and understanding. By employing strategies rooted in validation, autonomy, and normalizing the therapeutic process, you can help guide them toward the possibility of healing without pushing them too hard.
If you are facing challenges with your teen, consider parent coaching for yourself. Parent coaching can be an invaluable resource for parents navigating their teen’s mental health challenges. Here are five ways it can help:
1) Building Communication Skills:
Parent coaching can equip parents with effective communication techniques to foster open and honest discussions with their teens. This helps create a safe space where teens feel comfortable expressing their feelings and concerns, which is crucial for understanding their mental health needs.
2) Understanding Adolescent Behavior:
A parent coach can help parents better understand typical adolescent behaviors and mental health issues that may arise during this developmental stage. This knowledge can help parents respond with empathy and avoid misinterpretation of their teen’s actions as rebellion or defiance.
3) Establishing Healthy Boundaries:
Coaching can guide parents in setting appropriate and healthy boundaries while also allowing their teens the autonomy
they need to grow. This balance helps teens feel secure while promoting responsibility and self-regulation.
4) Developing Coping Strategies:
Parent coaching can provide parents with tools and techniques to teach their teens effective coping strategies for dealing with stress and anxiety. This not only benefits the teen but also empowers parents to support them in healthier ways.
5) Creating a Supportive Environment:
Coaches can assist parents in cultivating a nurturing home environment that prioritizes mental health. This includes promoting healthy family dynamics, encouraging positive self-care practices, and recognizing signs of distress in their teen, enabling proactive rather than reactive support.
Moving your teen toward strong mental health is possible through persistent and supportive strategies. Parent coaching is an empowering way to support you in that, helping you become a more effective advocate and ally for your teen in their mental health journey. Let’s all build skills to enjoy the benefits of good mental health.