by Paula Brunning

Counsellor / Parenting Coach / Career Coach

Learn how to establish self care that is trauma informed with Counsellor, Paula Brunning, of The Counselling Place Singapore — Establishing Self-Care that is trauma-informed

Trauma leaves more than memories—it leaves imprints on the body, nervous system, and sense of self. While self-care is often promoted as bubble baths and productivity hacks, true trauma-informed self-care goes deeper. It’s about creating safety, restoring regulation, and practicing compassion in ways that honor your lived experiences. This guide explores practical strategies—grounding, movement, boundaries, and daily nourishment—that can help you move from survival toward healing.

It centers on safety, compassion, and nervous system regulation rather than performance or productivity.
Grounding practices, regulating movement, daily nourishing activities, setting boundaries, and self-compassion.
Yes, but it’s best combined with professional counselling support to process deeper patterns and ensure safety.
Boundaries restore agency, protect energy, and help rebuild trust in oneself and relationships.

About a month ago, I participated in a wonderful panel discussion about breaking the silence around trauma, and since then, I have been noticing moments in my life where stepping into that awareness has been so helpful. The wonderful part was certainly not that trauma is a reality to so many people who have experienced a sudden, life-threatening experience such as an accident, violence or abuse or ongoing challenging experiences like repeated exposure to danger, neglect, loss or betrayal. The wonderful part was the validation of this deeply human experience as something worthy of discussion, so it can be addressed and the possibility of healing can begin.

What is trauma?

Trauma is a psychological injury that occurs as a result of a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope. Trauma can result from a sudden significant event or many small events that compile over time.

Depending on the emotional skills and support available to process and buffer the situation, or repeating situations, the response to a trauma develops. Often this response is helpful in the short term then becomes unhealthy in the long term.

Stored in the body, trauma can affect the nervous system, relationships and self-perception.

What is trauma-informed self-care?

When we think about self-care with a trauma-informed perspective, we are talking about responding to oneself with compassion and attunement, creating a felt sense of safety, agency and nervous system regulation. Importantly, trauma-informed self-care focuses on small, consistent practices that bring attention and reassurance to a personal journey of healing.

Create a Grounding Practice that focuses on felt safety

Self-care that is trauma-informed begins with bringing a felt sense of safety regularly into your day. This is important because this enables you to be present with yourself even when you are not okay, rather than go numb or ignore your feelings. As a whole, trauma-informed self-care aims to support one to slow down and pay attention to what one is feeling, releasing any pressure to perform for others by pushing through. It is an acknowledgement of what it is. A grounding practice is a simple routine where you create a sense of safety for yourself. Here are two ideas to try:

Discover grounding technique that can help you take care of yourself through trauma with Counsellor, Paula Brunning, of The Counselling Place Singapore

Feet on the floor

Sit in a chair with both feet flat on the floor. Press your feet gently down, like you’re trying to leave footprints. Notice the sensation in your heels, toes, arches. Say quietly to yourself: “I’m here. I’m safe. I can take this moment.” Stay like this for 30 seconds. Breathe slowly. Repeat if needed or desired. This practice is one I learned about from Janice Holland, LPC-S, Certified Trauma Model Therapist and Creator of the Courageous Living Freedom Framework, Host of The Trauma Teacher Podcast (Instagram: @the.trauma.teacher)

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This is a popular practice in mindfulness and bringing attention to the present moment. Go through all the senses, listing things in your present environment, bringing your attention to the here and now. 5 things you can see; 4 things you can hear; 3 things you can touch; 2 things you can smell; 1 thing you can taste.

These grounding activities use sensory input (touch, smell, sound etc.) to engage the parasympathetic nervous system, bringing one into a calmer, more settled state to create that felt sense of safety.

Include regulating movement activities into your day

Since trauma is stored in the body, the nervous system can become dysregulated making us feel on edge. Regularly doing movement is a way to relieve tension and prepare one to refocus on a task, reflect or discuss with greater clarity. Ideally these movements incorporate both sides of the body which include:

Walking

walk, creating a rhythm in your stride

Find out how movement can regulate your emotion with Counsellor, Paula Brunning, of The Counselling Place Singapore

Swaying

move side to side; this can include a gentle rocking from one leg to the other or also include the arms

Swinging

the motion of being on a swing or in a rocking chair is a regulating body movement

Shaking

arms, legs, torso, head can all get a good shake as a movement reset

Choose self-compassion over self-improvement

Trauma survivors often internalize blame and shame. Self-compassion interrupts a cycle of self-criticism and promotes emotional safety. Speaking to oneself as a friend might, saying “It makes sense you’re feeling this way.” brings reassurance and understanding with no judgement attached.

Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion researcher, suggests a ‘self-compassion break’ that incorporates the three components of self-compassion: mindfulness vs overidentification, common humanity vs isolation, and self-kindness vs self-judgement. Avoid the temptation to blanket your whole experience as bad, or that no one cares. The steps to a self-compassion break are:

Utilize self compassion and affirmation for trauma healing with Counsellor, Paula Brunning, of The Counselling Place Singapore

Notice this hurts through a statement such as telling oneself ‘Ouch, this is hard’.
Recognize suffering is a human experience
Invite kind support to oneself

For more details on this practice go to: https://self-compassion.org/exercises/exercise-2-self-compassion-break/

Another daily practice suggested by Janice Holland is to check in with yourself several times a day to ask, “Am I performing right now?” Notice if you are trying to appear okay for someone else. Put your hand on your chest or abdomen and ask, “What do I actually feel?” Let that truth be okay, even if you don’t fix it. Awareness is a powerful form of self-respect.

Nourish yourself on a daily basis

Intentionally track one thing that feels emotionally nourishing each day. Make a list of things you feel nourished by - it could be laughter, rest, a quiet morning or a comforting smell. Choose to intentionally do one of these things that you find nourishing each day, even if it’s for 5 minutes. Jot this nourishing activity down in a notebook or share it aloud with a trusted person.

This is an important way to build self-care rooted in attunement rather than in performance, rewiring the brain to notice safety and connection on a daily basis.

Trauma can numb joy and pleasure and this daily practice can begin to elevate these positive emotions.

Set boundaries that protect your energy

Energy is limited and when we are struggling it depletes more quickly. Protecting one’s energy begins to establish boundaries that may have been violated or blurred through trauma, increasing a sense of control and agency which is a key part of healing. Practice saying ‘no’ or ‘not now’ to interactions, places or people that drain your energy. Use gentle and clear language such as “That doesn’t work for me right now,” or “I need some space to recharge.”

Giving yourself this permission to set these boundaries because they matter helps to establish the space you need for real self-care.

Reach out for additional support you may need

Trauma-informed self-care is about meeting oneself where you are, taking steps to nurture attentive kindness toward your nervous system and being gentle with oneself in the process. While it is important to develop self-care that recognises a trauma history and honors personal awareness and agency, it is also possible that additional support can be healthy and warranted. Counselling can be useful to develop deeper insights, release intense emotional responses and develop new skills. If something in this self-care guide resonates with you, and you feel like you could use support to move from surviving to thriving, reach out to us at The Counselling Place. Book in a session with me.

Establishing Self-Care that is trauma-informed