How to Build Resilience: Finding Hope and Asking for Help
Clinical Psychologist / Organizational Psychologist / Parenting Coach
How to Build Resilience: Finding Hope and Asking for Help
What does it really mean to be resilient when life feels overwhelming? Clinical Psychologist Stacey Lee Henderson explores why resilience isn't about never struggling, how hope and connection help us through difficult times, and why asking for help can be an act of strength.
September is a month that reminds us of an important truth: no one is meant to face life's challenges alone. Across the world, September is recognised as Suicide Prevention Month and Recovery Month, with World Suicide Prevention Day observed on 10 September. October brings another reminder to pay attention to our mental wellbeing, with World Mental Health Day on 10 October.
These observances encourage all of us to pause, reflect, and remember that hope exists even during life's most difficult moments. They remind us that recovery is possible, support is available, and small acts of connection can make a meaningful difference in someone's life.
As we came to the end of another September, I found myself reflecting on the interactions I've had this month and where we could be a little more present with hope, resilience and finding courage.
What Does Resilience Really Mean?
When we hear the word "resilience," many of us imagine extraordinary strength. We may picture people who never struggle, never feel discouraged, and somehow keep moving forward no matter what happens.
In reality, resilience is something much simpler and much more human — and honestly, it involves a lot more failure than we think.
Resilience is not about being unaffected by adversity. It is about continuing despite adversity.
It is the ability to take one small step when everything feels overwhelming. It is allowing ourselves to lean on others when we need support. It is finding ways to recover after setbacks, losses, disappointments or difficult experiences.
Most importantly, resilience is not something we either have or do not have. It is something we develop through our experiences, relationships and daily habits. We've got to build it like a muscle.
Like many things in nature, resilience grows over time.
In nature, we can find examples of resilience all around us. A tree withstands storms because its roots grow deep. A migratory animal survives long journeys because it rests, adapts and travels with its group.
Likewise, people build resilience through connection, support and the willingness to keep going, even when progress feels slow.
Resilience Doesn't Mean Facing Everything Alone
One of the greatest myths about resilience is that asking for help is a sign of weakness. When actually, seeking help is often one of the strongest and bravest things a person can do.
Every one of us will experience challenges at different points in life. We may face work pressures, health concerns, financial worries, grief, relationship difficulties, caregiving responsibilities, or personal struggles that are not visible to others.
During these times, it can be tempting to keep everything to ourselves.
Have you ever told yourself, "I should be able to handle it"?
Have you ever worried about burdening others?
Have you ever feared being judged?
There is so much in life that can challenge us — and, in time, give us opportunities to learn how to recover and move forward.
Why Connection Matters for Mental Health
Research and lived experience consistently show that connection is one of the most important protective factors for mental wellbeing. Simply knowing that someone cares, listens and is willing to walk alongside us can help us navigate difficult moments more effectively.
Support may look different for everyone.
Sometimes support comes from a professional counsellor or psychologist. Sometimes it comes from a healthcare provider. Sometimes it comes from a trusted friend.
Sometimes it begins with a simple question:
"How are you really doing?"
That conversation may not solve every problem, but it can create a moment of hope.
Finding Hope When Life Feels Difficult
Hope is often misunderstood as wishful thinking. We sometimes imagine hope as waiting for things to improve on their own.
Genuine hope, however, is far more active than that.
Hope is believing that a path forward exists, even if we cannot yet see the entire journey. And here is the key part of that: we act upon this hope.
After our recent visit to the library, my daughter found and borrowed the book The Little Engine That Could. I'd heard about this book and that it was one of the good ones.
So one evening as we were reading it, it surprised me how simple it was at teaching the art of resilience and hope. No matter how little, that little engine could help another reach their destination through sheer determination and hope.
It's amazing to see her learning from this and shouting, "I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!" whenever she gets stuck at something now.
It inspires me to think: if this little three-and-a-half-year-old thinks she can, then perhaps so can I.
Hope is recognising that difficult situations can change. It is believing that support is available to us. It is trusting that tomorrow may feel different from today.
For people who are facing mental health challenges, feelings of hopelessness can be particularly difficult.
During these moments, compassionate support from family members, friends, colleagues and communities becomes incredibly important. A caring conversation, a check-in message, an offer of practical help, or simply sitting with someone without judgement can remind them that they do not have to carry their struggles alone.
How to Support Someone Who Is Struggling
This is why suicide prevention is everyone's business.
Contrary to common belief, most people do not need to be mental health experts to help someone who may be struggling. We can all play a role by creating environments where people feel safe to talk, seek help and be themselves.
We can listen without immediately trying to fix the problem.
We can show genuine concern.
We can speak openly about mental health.
We can encourage professional support when needed.
Most importantly, we can remind others that their life matters and that support is available.
The small actions we take every day contribute to a culture of care.
It might be a family that checks in on one another.
A partner who notices when their spouse is struggling.
A colleague who takes the time to listen.
A friend who reaches out after a difficult day.
These moments of human connection may seem small, but they can be powerful too.
Reaching Out Is a Form of Strength
Reaching out does not mean that we have failed to cope on our own. Sometimes it is the very thing that helps us begin to cope.
This is an open invitation to reach out. Let's find the courage to seek support, connect with others and find a little hope together.
If You or Someone You Know Is in Crisis
If you are thinking about suicide or are concerned that someone may be in immediate danger, please seek urgent support.
In Singapore, Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) provides 24-hour emotional support through its hotline at 1767 and CareText via WhatsApp at 9151 1767.
If there is immediate danger or urgent medical assistance is required, call 995 or go to the nearest A&E.
When You Need Support
You don't have to wait until things become overwhelming before reaching out for support. If you're struggling with anxiety, depression, stress, relationships, work or other challenges, talking with a psychologist or counsellor can help you understand what you're experiencing and find a way forward. Book a counselling session here.
About Stacey Lee Henderson
Stacey Lee Henderson is a Clinical & Organizational Psychologist and Parent Coach at The Counselling Place Singapore. She works with complex mental health concerns, OCD and anxiety, depression, workplace and career issues, couples and parenting. Learn more about Stacey here.
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