Understanding Stress, its Effects and Stress Management Tips

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Leon Chng

Counsellor & Fitness Coach

Learn about stress and how to manage it with the help of the counsellors and psychologists at The Counselling Place Singapore

Understanding Stress, its Effects and Stress Management Tips by Leon Chng

Stress can be defined as our body’s response to an external stressor. This triggers the ‘fight or flight’ response, where the brain stimulates the secretion of cortisol and adrenaline, hormones that heighten our awareness and alertness.

As such, some stress or ‘pressure’ can be beneficial, and helps our body push through tough situations (eustress). However, a constant activation of the stress response can have adverse consequences on our body. These include suppression of the immune and digestive systems, making us more susceptible to infections. Chronic stress can also cause exhaustion and burnout (constantly feeling cynicial, useless and depressed most of the time), and even lead to mental health conditions like depression and anxiety.

Quick (Visual recap) on the mental health continuum:

Learn about stress and how to manage it with the help of the counsellors and psychologists at The Counselling Place Singapore

Hence, it is crucial to learn how to manage and learn stress management. Ideally, even to harness stress to our advantage.

Learn about stress and how to manage it with the help of the counsellors and psychologists at The Counselling Place Singapore

Stress is caused by the gap between where you are, and where you want to be. i.e Current Reality VS Your Expectations. Hence, to reduce stress, you either:

1) Move towards your expectations

2) Drop / Change your expectations

The Art of Mindset and (Self) Expectations Mangement

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, stress seems almost inevitable. Whether it's due to work pressures, personal relationships, or financial concerns, stress can weigh heavily on our minds and bodies, affecting our overall well-being. However, amidst the chaos, there are powerful tools we can employ to alleviate stress and cultivate a sense of inner calm. Two essential strategies in this regard are mastering mindset and managing expectations.

The Power of Mindset:

Mindset refers to the mental attitude or disposition that shapes how we perceive and respond to the world around us. Cultivating a positive mindset can significantly reduce stress and enhance overall resilience. Here's how to harness the power of mindset to combat stress:

  • Practice Gratitude: Adopting an attitude of gratitude can work wonders for reducing stress. Take a few moments each day to reflect on the things you're thankful for, whether it's a supportive friend, a beautiful sunset, or a delicious meal. By focusing on the positives in your life, you can shift your perspective away from stressors and towards appreciation.

  • Embrace Optimism: Optimism doesn't mean ignoring challenges; rather, it's about approaching them with a positive outlook. When faced with difficulties, remind yourself that setbacks are temporary and that you have the resilience to overcome them. Cultivating optimism can help you navigate stressful situations with greater ease and confidence.

  • Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Incorporate mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or mindful walking into your daily life as routines to promote relaxation and stress reduction.
    By grounding yourself in the here and now, you can reduce anxiety about the future and rumination about the past.

  • Reevaluate & Challenge Negative Thoughts: Negative thinking patterns can fuel stress and anxiety. When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk or catastrophic thinking, challenge those thoughts with evidence-based alternatives.
    For example, if you're doubting yourself on your ability for a decent work presentation, remind yourself of past successes (or avoiding a disastrous outcome) and recall how you (technically, your ability) handled same or similar challenges effectively.

  • Cultivate Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing a difficult situation. Acknowledge your own humanity, including your flaws and imperfections, without harsh self-judgment.
    Cultivating self-compassion can buffer against the impact of stress and foster greater emotional resilience.

The Art of Expectation Management:

Expectations play a significant role in shaping our experiences and reactions to various situations. Learning to manage expectations effectively can help mitigate stress and disappointment. Here are some strategies for mastering expectation management:

  • Set Realistic Goals:  Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate your progress along the way. Unrealistic expectations often set us up for failure and disappointment. Instead of aiming for perfection, set achievable goals that align with your abilities and resources.
    If possible, segment your goals mindfully into what is urgent and important all the “permutations and combinations” to what is also not urgent but especially important. (Suggest: googling Time Management Quadrant).

  • Focus on Process Over Outcome: While it's natural to have goals and aspirations, placing too much emphasis solely on the result can lead to stress and anxiety. Shift your focus from the outcome to the process itself, enjoy the journey and learn from the experience regardless of the outcome.

  • Practice Flexibility: Life is unpredictable, and things don't always go according to plan. Embrace flexibility and adaptability, recognizing that change is a natural part of the human experience. When faced with unexpected challenges or setbacks, approach them with a willingness to adjust your expectations and find creative solutions.

  • Manage Time Wisely: Poor time management can contribute to stress and overwhelm. Prioritize tasks based on importance and urgency and allocate sufficient time and resources to complete them effectively. Be realistic about what you can do within a given period, and don't hesitate to delegate or seek help when needed.

  • Focus on What You Can Control: Not everything is within our control, and trying to micromanage every aspect of our lives only leads to frustration and stress. Instead, focus your energy on things you can influence, such as your attitudes, behaviours, and responses to challenges. Accept the things you cannot change and focus instead of what you can do about the situation.

Integrating Mindset and Expectation Management:

Mindset and expectation management are closely intertwined, each influencing the other in profound ways. By adopting a positive mindset and managing your expectations effectively, you can cultivate a greater sense of inner peace and resilience in the face of life's inevitable stressors. Here's how to integrate these two strategies:

  • Cultivate Awareness: Pay attention to your thoughts, beliefs, and expectations, noticing how they affect your emotions and behaviours. Cultivating awareness allows you to identify and challenge negative patterns, replacing them with more adaptive and empowering alternatives.

  • Practice Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your experiences and how your mindset and expectations influence them. Notice any recurring themes or patterns and consider how you might adjust your mindset or expectations to promote greater well-being and resilience.

  • Seek Support: Don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or mental health professionals for support and guidance. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others can provide valuable perspective and help you develop strategies for managing stress more effectively.

  • Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate your efforts and achievements, no matter you consider how “insignificant” or small they are. Cultivating a sense of accomplishment can bolster your confidence and motivation, making it easier to support a positive mindset and realistic expectations over time.

  • Be Patient and Persistent: Changing mindset and expectation patterns takes time and effort, so be patient with yourself as you embark on this journey. Stay committed to practicing self-awareness, self-compassion, and resilience, knowing that each small step brings you closer to a life filled with greater peace and fulfilment.

In conclusion, mastering stress through mindset and expectation management is a journey of most profound self-discovery and growth. By cultivating a positive mindset, setting realistic expectations, and integrating these strategies into your daily life, you will then navigate life's challenges with greater ease and resilience. Remember, stress may be inevitable, but how you respond to it is within your power. Embrace the art of mindset and expectation management and you can be sure that your stress levels decrease, and your quality of life improves.

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