Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an effective therapeutic approach to deal with pain and suffering in our lives. The goal of ACT is to create a rich and meaningful life, while accepting the pain that inevitably goes with it.
We all face pain and suffering in our lives, be it personal, work, or relationship related. But we don’t just have pain; we agonize over painful memories, uncomfortable emotions, and difficult self-judgments. We worry about them, we dread them, we engage in all kinds of activities to avoid them. We want the suffering in our lives to be minimized. What we don’t realize is these efforts we take to “control” pain are largely the problem. Many people believe that unless they can eliminate these pain and suffering, they cannot move on to the next step in living their lives. The truth is, we CAN take action without first changing or eliminating feelings. How? ACT!
Currently, our therapists that utilizes ACT approach include Anne Ueberbach and Ho Shee Wai.
3 steps of ACT
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Many of our struggles in life (e.g., depression, anxiety, addiction, etc.) are really our failed efforts to control negative private events (thoughts, feelings, sensations, images, etc.). The main ways we attempt to control these suffering are using emotional avoidance and escape. This creates a vicious cycle of more suffering (or, temporary alleviate and then more suffering).
What we’ve found to be more effective is a radical acceptance of these uninvited, unpleasant experiences. Acceptance means opening up and making room for painful feelings and sensations. In ACT, we look at understanding why you are experiencing these the way you are, looking at your history and what current help maintain these experiences. We give you skills to have the psychological flexibility to accept what is going on. We look at you being present, consciously connecting with whatever is happening right here, right now. We help you develop an observing self that can take a healthy distance from what is happening without denying it.
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Our values help us create a sense of life meaning and direction. However, there is a difference between value (noun) and “valuing” (action). Valuing is defined by behaviors, not private content (i.e. thoughts, experiential feelings, etc). For example, if someone spends 20 hours at work, they are not valuing their family; or someone who is having an affair, they are not loving their partner. This is regardless what they genuinely think or feel or think they feel.
In ACT, we help define and refine what these valued directions are for each person, how these values suggest specific life goals, define the actions that will accomplish these goals, understand the “hooks” that pull a person out of a valued process of living, and to separating values from unfulfilling social and community pressures.
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Once we identified our values, we then make a commitment to take actions in the valued direction. Commitment is not a promise; it is not a prediction. It is a stand and a choice we take every day, at every moment. It is us building a larger pattern of behaviors to help us achieve the behavior that we valued. We are constantly being mindful of our values, goals, actions, and barriers to our actions.
Therefore, the question we trying to answer in ACT is “Given a distinction between you and the things you are struggling with and trying to change, are you willing to experience those things, fully and without defense, as it is and not as it says it is, and do what takes you in the direction of your chosen values in this time and situation?”. When we can answer “Yes” and take actions, that’s when our lives will be transformed.
