How do you cope with your anger? Do you know that there are 4 predominant styles and with each there are associated ways to change and manage our anger? Come and identify your specific style(s) and what to do.
1. Withdrawal
Do you go to sleep when things get bad, avoid getting involved in problems, forget important fact, etc? if so, you withdraw as a way to cope with anger. You are not meeting your responsibilities and are holding back from life. This can lead to worry, anger and frustration.
Things to do to change:
a. visualize yourself completing what you want done and feel the benefits
b. give yourself rewards for things you complete. A good feeling can defuse the hidden anger and frustration
c. take small steps toward expressing yourself
d. make a list of things you need and want to do. Also list your fears, but include the rewards for overcoming the fear
e. Think of how you felt the last time you didn’t do what you needed to do (the anger, frustration). Then think of all the reasons you don’t want to feel this way again and get started.
2. Internalizing
When you're upset, do you tend to keep it in, not express how you feel, or go off alone. If so, you cope with anger by internalizing. You are not only building resentment and anger, but you are probably causing yourself a great deal of internal stress in an attempt to relieve the pressure.
Things to do to change:
a. Write down some reasons that you think you should not share your feelings.
b. Separate feelings from demands you’re making on yourself.
c. Understand that you can express yourself without anyone else being obligated to do something about it.
d. Don’t speculate what others will think.
3. Outbursts
Do you often blame others for your problems, blow up, feel irritable, or cry if you lose control? If so, you cope with anger with outbursts. This may be the outcome of internalizing your feelings of helplessness. Shifting blame and responsibility for outbursts is a self-defeating response to anger. This is passing on the anger to another and not addressing the problem.
Things to do to change:
1. Become aware of the emotions that trigger the outbursts.
2. Ask yourself why you feel the way you do.
3. Ask yourself if there is a better way to express yourself.
4. Control
Do you like to do everything for yourself, feel impatient if you have to wait, or worry about things? If so, you cope with anger by control. Tour behavior is probably Type A – you try to control every situation and to plan for every possible problem. Keeping control over one’s world becomes too much and creates anger and anxiety. We become tired and frustrated taking care of everything around us.
Things to do to change:
1. Evaluate all priorities and tasks.
2. Confront the fear of not being in control.
3. Look honestly at the beliefs and feelings that are behind your behaviors.
Do you go to sleep when things get bad, avoid getting involved in problems, forget important fact, etc? if so, you withdraw as a way to cope with anger. You are not meeting your responsibilities and are holding back from life. This can lead to worry, anger and frustration.
Things to do to change:
a. visualize yourself completing what you want done and feel the benefits
b. give yourself rewards for things you complete. A good feeling can defuse the hidden anger and frustration
c. take small steps toward expressing yourself
d. make a list of things you need and want to do. Also list your fears, but include the rewards for overcoming the fear
e. Think of how you felt the last time you didn’t do what you needed to do (the anger, frustration). Then think of all the reasons you don’t want to feel this way again and get started.
2. Internalizing
When you're upset, do you tend to keep it in, not express how you feel, or go off alone. If so, you cope with anger by internalizing. You are not only building resentment and anger, but you are probably causing yourself a great deal of internal stress in an attempt to relieve the pressure.
Things to do to change:
a. Write down some reasons that you think you should not share your feelings.
b. Separate feelings from demands you’re making on yourself.
c. Understand that you can express yourself without anyone else being obligated to do something about it.
d. Don’t speculate what others will think.
3. Outbursts
Do you often blame others for your problems, blow up, feel irritable, or cry if you lose control? If so, you cope with anger with outbursts. This may be the outcome of internalizing your feelings of helplessness. Shifting blame and responsibility for outbursts is a self-defeating response to anger. This is passing on the anger to another and not addressing the problem.
Things to do to change:
1. Become aware of the emotions that trigger the outbursts.
2. Ask yourself why you feel the way you do.
3. Ask yourself if there is a better way to express yourself.
4. Control
Do you like to do everything for yourself, feel impatient if you have to wait, or worry about things? If so, you cope with anger by control. Tour behavior is probably Type A – you try to control every situation and to plan for every possible problem. Keeping control over one’s world becomes too much and creates anger and anxiety. We become tired and frustrated taking care of everything around us.
Things to do to change:
1. Evaluate all priorities and tasks.
2. Confront the fear of not being in control.
3. Look honestly at the beliefs and feelings that are behind your behaviors.
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