As we step into the new year, let's look at 5 common problems people face and what we can do about it:
a) Time
b) Conflict
c) Shyness
d) Patience
e) Communication
a) Time
b) Conflict
c) Shyness
d) Patience
e) Communication
a) "I wish I had more time”
Everyone has the same 24 hours. Why do some people seemingly more able to do all that they want while others struggled? While we all sprout the mantra of prioritizing, this is really about making choices. What do I value and is what I am choosing to do in line with what I value? For example, if I value my relationship but I’m spending my time at work, I am not aligning with my value. Be clear about what it is that you see is the purpose and meaning of your life, take action, and spend your time on things that are in accordance to your values.
b) "No matter what I do there's always conflict"
Conflict happens when 2 people take the opposing view or stance. In your relationship, try to see from the other person’s perspective and see what you can agree with and be on board for. Search for common or shared goals in this disagreement. The goal is to move so that the 2 of you are on the same side.
c) "I'm too shy or scared to try new things"
It is important to try new things. It keeps our brain “young” and our relationship fresh and interesting. Know that it is normal to be anxious when faced with new things, but physiologically fear and excitement feels the same physically in our body. Use this feeling as energy to help you take the step.
d) “I don’t have enough patience”
We feel impatience when we are overwhelmed with tasks or life, or when we feel rushed or pressed for time. Try to look at the big picture and think whether what we are being impatient about matters in the long run or have big enough consequences for our lives. Think about whether we have control over what’s happening, take a breath and let go if it’s not within our control. Know that everything has its place and time.
e) "I can't get my point across clearly"
Often when things are important to us, we become emotional and the flood of emotions prevent us from expressing ourselves well. Sometimes it also becomes personal which stop us from being calm. Take a step and put some distance between yourself and what you are trying to say. Focus on the main point, think through the logic of your explanation, and keep it as clear and concise as possible. Do not be distracted by the reactions of the other person. If necessary, ask for space for you to complete what you are saying before the other person respond.
Everyone has the same 24 hours. Why do some people seemingly more able to do all that they want while others struggled? While we all sprout the mantra of prioritizing, this is really about making choices. What do I value and is what I am choosing to do in line with what I value? For example, if I value my relationship but I’m spending my time at work, I am not aligning with my value. Be clear about what it is that you see is the purpose and meaning of your life, take action, and spend your time on things that are in accordance to your values.
b) "No matter what I do there's always conflict"
Conflict happens when 2 people take the opposing view or stance. In your relationship, try to see from the other person’s perspective and see what you can agree with and be on board for. Search for common or shared goals in this disagreement. The goal is to move so that the 2 of you are on the same side.
c) "I'm too shy or scared to try new things"
It is important to try new things. It keeps our brain “young” and our relationship fresh and interesting. Know that it is normal to be anxious when faced with new things, but physiologically fear and excitement feels the same physically in our body. Use this feeling as energy to help you take the step.
d) “I don’t have enough patience”
We feel impatience when we are overwhelmed with tasks or life, or when we feel rushed or pressed for time. Try to look at the big picture and think whether what we are being impatient about matters in the long run or have big enough consequences for our lives. Think about whether we have control over what’s happening, take a breath and let go if it’s not within our control. Know that everything has its place and time.
e) "I can't get my point across clearly"
Often when things are important to us, we become emotional and the flood of emotions prevent us from expressing ourselves well. Sometimes it also becomes personal which stop us from being calm. Take a step and put some distance between yourself and what you are trying to say. Focus on the main point, think through the logic of your explanation, and keep it as clear and concise as possible. Do not be distracted by the reactions of the other person. If necessary, ask for space for you to complete what you are saying before the other person respond.
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